Forgivenessisdamn hard for me. Just when I think I've putit behindme I remember something like seeing her in his truck with him riding around,when we were still very much together, nad when I asked himabout it he said she just stopped by his office and had some time tokill. I told himthen that I thought it was inappropriate. He kinda sorta agreed with me.Then later I found all her phone numbers in his work planner. I asked him about it and hegot defensive and tore the page out. I guess I knew in my heart then-my gut was telling me something was wrong but he lied SO WELL. Truth is, I DON'T trsut him and Iknow he can tell and I donj't really care. He has to earn my trust. I don't think forgiveness is s gift we giveourselves at all. I can't possibly think of forgiving my H for audultry as a gift in any sense of the word. Like you LL, if he was doing more forthe R, it would go a long way to help me trust him. Maybe that will happen. I'm not sure. Until then I plod along not quite sure what to do. I wish I knew. There is no formula to gaini trust. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do-try to trust him again. I'm not sure I can. Rachael
