Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it

[ImprovedRomeo]

Sol, yeah it's funny how we 'put up' with so much over the years and slowly start to realize that how we idealized our spouses first they weren't really all that. A lot of people say it's for the better that they called it quits so we can find a more suitable match. Yet I still have a problem with that because I believe in putting our selfishness aside and doing things to make our spouses (and in turn us) happy and if we can't do that then at least raise the kids so they're mature enough to understand and not be so hurt by this.

Yeah she's not very affectionate but maybe I was looking for a motherly type of a role from my wife? I don't know I guess there could've been a balance between total coldness and too much affection...

Anyway so yes physical touch to me and probably most men is very important it's how we express our love. That and if you can make us feel we're the best guy you've ever had (not just in bed) that's all we ask for. Like if I even screwed a light bulb on and you said 'honey, you're the man!' and on the surface I might say 'aw that was nothing' but inside I'd be like 'I am the man and she loves me!'. There you have it, a guy summarized in two sentences. And a clean house, kids and meals every now and then would be the icing on the cake! LOL

So I emailed stbxw last night to see if she could bring DD to the doc because on Sun I noticed she had a swelling on one of her fingers as if a splinter's logged in and the skin's trying to reject it. She wouldn't let me examine it and said last week mommy told her she'd bring her to the doc. I work 60 miles away so it's hard as is for me to drop DD to school and make it to work on time. Anyway so stbxw said she 'should be able to'. Haven't heard anything, I guess I'll have to ask what the doc said or wait till I pick DD up from school tonight to ask her about it.

I got the information packet from the private school last night I guess they had my address since we applied for her to join the school almost a year ago. Anyway, I scanned the pages and was going to email it to stbxw.

I still have to email her about the other crap since the L still hasn't gotten back to me. Like what the heck am I paying you guys for? answering a simple insurance quesiton can't be that hard.

Oh and girl 3 just left this greeting on my meetup group profile:

"Hi. I am glad that we walked together back to our cars from the beach. Thanks"

wow...I haven't gotten this much attention for so long. I mean it was really no big deal we were both parked on the same street. Who's complaining though, not me! lol

[newmama]

Romeo--yay!!! You so deserve it!!! Are you overwhelmed or feel ok? Give these girls nicknames--they are not THINGS! (just teasing--like THING 1, THING 2 lol!)

[soleil]

LOL. I love how you # your girls! Girl 1, 2, and 3. Haha.

Yeah your L should def get back to you. How annoying! Maybe you can email them again for a follow up today.

I agree with the 'idealization' of our spouses. It is truly amazing how we can put people on pedastals. But I guess when you're married, you are supposed to feel your spouse is the bee's knees. I know I did.

[newmama]

About your need for affection meaning you need a mother role from your wife?--what the heck? Don't we all need human touch?

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks guys OK now I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. Kind of a busy day at work and I'm getting all this communication that I don't even have time to write about.

stbxw sent me two emails one about the doc appt today and asking if I'd be able to make it.

Second about her proposed dates for the furniture pick up and a list of the large items.

Then I get a text from Girl 4- she asked if I was still available Sun night. I said sure if she wants to change the movie from Wed to Sun that's fine. She said no that's wed but since she's alone Fri-Tue she wanted to know if I'd come over to watch a movie and she'll cook! ayee...I didn't know what to say so I texted back (while running to my meeting) 'ok we can probably do something on Sun. I'll send you an email later today' I didn't want her to keep texting me.

I haven't responded to Girl 3 either...what do I even say? 'it was nice walking back to the car with you too' ? lol

Yeah thing 1 and thing 2- there's a method to this maddness given the choices I've rated them by my preference lol yeah I know I'm going to burn in hell

Sorry will try to respond to your guys stuff maybe tomorrow I don't think I have the bandwidth today with so much going on.

[soleil]

Romeo, true to your name, you sound like a very busy man responding to all those ladies. Haha. It sounds like a premise for a movie!

[ImprovedRomeo]

Sol, yeah this is all kinda weird...

So I want to send the school stuff to share with stbxw but I also want her to respond to my attorney's letter to stipulate the agreement. To my knowledge she hasn't done that yet. So I was thinking of responding the doc appt email like so:

"Sorry I won't get there till at least 5pm so I'll just pick her up from her school. Speaking of which I got some stuff from [private] school that I'll send over to you but my L has advised me to not discuss the school matter until she's received a response."

This will tell her she needs to get her approval over to my L and then I can share whatever it is that I got from the school?

[whatisis]

Then I get a text from Girl 4- she asked if I was still available Sun night. I said sure if she wants to change the movie from Wed to Sun that's fine. She said no that's wed but since she's alone Fri-Tue she wanted to know if I'd come over to watch a movie and she'll cook! ayee...I didn't know what to say so I texted back (while running to my meeting) 'ok we can probably do something on Sun. I'll send you an email later today' I didn't want her to keep texting me.

Um, maybe it's just my male hormones, but when she asks you to come over to watch and movie and she'll cook dinner that spells "BOINK" to me! So, just be careful about putting yourself in a situation where you may be expected to put out, which is fine if you want to, but not so good if it puts you in an awkward sitaution. I honestly don't think you're in a place to get physically or emotionally intimate with anyone right now. A nice night out would be OK though and dinner and a movie out puts less performance pressure on you and makes the outing a little simpler.

[newmama]

ROmeo, change your name to Casanova! Now, girl number 4 is really getting on my nerves. Suppose you go out with her and can't stand her- there is nothing wrong with saying "Oh, I don't know yet--I might have plans on Sunday...let me get back to you!"
because heck, it is Wed- Sunday is 4 days away!

About girl #3...you can send her an email through her profile if you want and say "I enjoyed walking with you, too!" if you don't want your greeting to be public.

[whatisis]

OK IR, I just checked with two of my male co-workers and they say, without prompting... BOINK invitation! So it's not just me. Is this the woman you met at the beach a few days ago?