We ended up talking for 2 hours and at the end he surprised me by saying,"What kinds of things did you want me to do to "try"" and then.."Well, why don't you let me think about all this over night". I honestly wasn't sure what to say.
Sunday we went to lunch, I wrote down some ideas about what I needed to show me that he was trying. I gave it to him and asked that we make a decision that day. Just before bedtime, he asked me if I wanted to talk about it, and I said yes. He told me that he thought he could do some of the things I suggested and he wanted to try. Believe me when I say that no one was more surprised than me. I thought it was over.
So, what things did you tell him you would need, LT? What were your Boundaries of Personal Integrity -- your "dealbreakers" this time, having learned the hard, painful way from his past behaviors?
