journaling .. pep talk last night was good. met with my l today. that was surprisingly good. although i am a bit torn. i need my vets' help. i have three options. 1. we are waiting for more info from h's side. so the wait and see option. 2. we take action and propose a settlement. -> 2a. i go talk to my h without ls and say can we work out a deal without the ls? -> 2b. my l and i come up with a proposal and fire it over to their camp. 3. set a date for a 5-way meeting with mediator.
those are my options. my l was really good. i did not tear him a new one. we are on the same page. he understands that i'm using my head and not my heart anymore. i gave him my best and worst case scenario. my l is suggesting i go the 2a. route. he said here's your chance to talk to your h. you will find out where his head is at. and maybe you will have a better idea of whether reconciliation is possible or not. who knows. plus, no lawyers are involved, no legal costs to you. just say look, the numbers look like this. maybe we can work something out ourselves.
i think we all know i'm still not ready for that conversation yet. the thought of meeting with him to talk makes me nervous. i just know that i'll dig away, mind read, and every rule will be broken. i have worked on myself but i have not worked on my speech/statement.
