I heat ya there...my h's ow was after him (or any number of guys she did spend time with bil long ago too) for a long long time as well...he just didn't see it and to be honest I still dont think he does..that would have to mean he see's her as flawed and him as a victim where he prefers to see himself as the one who did wrong she was just there. fact is they both took advantage of eachother..used eachother..that after all is what affairs are about...using the other person to meet some need of your own...sure you think it's them but in reality it's just what you get from them...kicker is most often they are giving more too the op and that only serves to get them more in return when if they spent half as much energy on the marital r they'd be getting so much more and wouldn't be living with the constant thread that the whole world is one day going to discover their sham and they'll loose it all.
it's not my fault at all that h had an a...I accept no responsibility for it at all..it would be like me finding someone to go out with and have sex with and then saying well gee h if you would do those things with me I wouldn't have done it with them.
