Quote:
How do I let her know that really she is insignificant in my life now and I have so much more to worry about than what she is doing with hers.


I would be asking yourself the question, why do I allow her to make me feel insignificant?

when you understand that you will be able to answer your own question.



Quote:
Is this normal??


No. I dont believe this is normal at all. What I see as normal and what I would expect to find if my wife found out I was having an affair is either 1) to come home to an empty house and a note that said, "You are a loser. F*** You."

or 2) find all my stuff in a pile at the end of the road, the locks changed, and maybe if I am lucky a note on the door that says, "You are a loser. If you want her she can have you. F*** You."

and I would have no other option but to realize that I have hurt my wife and made a choice that I will now have to deal with.