Allen's right, QS -- this will BLOW HER MIND, especially if you've gleaned her timeline from all your intel and she hasn't said a word. She'll go on vacation, come back home to drop the "I'm moving out" bomb...and you'll be 2 steps ahead of her!
I can see her deer-caught-in-the-headlights look now, lol!
So she calls me today FURIOUS that I have not responded to the divorce complaint. I mean FURIOUS.
I let the first call go to voicemail. I picked up the second, and she lays into me about my "terrible legal advice". Apparently, I am trying to make this process "as expensive and hard as possible on her".
"Your actions speak so much louder than your words, and it's PATHETIC".
I then said, "Is that all? I gotta go, I'm busy somewhere. See ya". Then I hung up.
She calls BACK and leaves a voicemail. Again lays into me about "How it's so sad that I am desperately clinging onto her". "I just want to be FREE OF YOU".
I checked the phone records, and apparently she cried to her mom for 20 minutes, and her lawyer for another 15.
What she doesn't get is that I plan to respond this week, at the end of the 30 days.
She is just so overboard that she is FLIPPING out that I haven't responded, NOR have I PUBLICLY put my lawyer on retainer and had them file a notice of representation with the court.
Did she think I was going to tip my hand right off the bat?
I have heard or seen her write "I WANT TO BE FREE OF HIM" quite a few times now.
Why is it she THINKS I am DESPERATELY clinging onto her? I mean I don't pursue her, and I just don't talk to her. Why is it in HER MIND if I don't do EXACTLY what SHE WANTS, that I am "clinging" onto her.
Any advice on how to 180 this?
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
She's pushing her fantasy into your world too... She sees this pathetic desperate guy pining away for her...
We know that's not the case, but that's what she's building up in her head...
I think she's seriously going off the deep end.
divorce is hard QS.. and your wife isn't DEALING with it, she's trying to escape it, and it WILL make her ILL running like this... its already showing itself...
Save her nasty phone calls so you can use them in court if you have to...
She's upset about the divorce as much as you are QS... she's just not processing it well... and her solution is to escape into fantasies where she's some sex queen and you are darth vader or something like that... Its ridiculous...
Just let her keep going... the crazier she gets the less credibility she's going to have with anyone...
Just so you don't overreact... what actual things are you doing that suggest YOU are the clingy one here?
I strongly suspect she's just talking about herself... She's feeling the attachment and it's eating away at her. So she projects YOU as being clingy instead... She's really got some emotional development to work on if this is the best way she can muster to process a divorce proceeding...
She's bordering on harassment here and could be committed if she keeps it up
Just let her keep going... the crazier she gets the less credibility she's going to have with anyone...
I COMPLETELY get what you are saying. BUT, all her friends and family are there to "support" her and REINFORCE just how BAD OF A GUY and DESPERATE I am.
I just do my thing and keep the poker face. I do need to show her I am not pining away for her.
Maybe some early packing of some kitchen stuff we don't use and she is taking will drive home the message.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Seriously... I can't imagine you give a rats ass what they think do you? When my wife did a smear campaign on me I really was angry, but I realized those people that bought her stories were the ones with the problem and I just held my head high...
If you are perfectly calm all the time and she acts psycho over time they WILL start to realize she's got some screws loose...
I certainly wouldn't worry about what those supporters think...
You don't want to pack early and tip your hand here.. how long before she goes away and you start packing her up?
