I want to be part of the group...

[LRT Land]

Jstar - in some ways your H sounds similar to mine. I think a lot of men find it difficult to connect emotionally. I have found with my H that when he is feeling too close he drives me away. It is a difficult line to walk to be detached but kind.

I have reached the conclusion that I want to be the best mate I can be as an example to my DD and also for my own self-respect. My H would accuse me of similar things your H says about you.

Do the 180s so you can respect yourself and to keep things at a better place in your relationship. Don't do them to try and win him back. I've been here a short time but have learned much. Go read the quotes that are posted - I think there are 3 threads of them. It helps to get your brain around what is going on.

Don't think too much about what H is thinking/feeling b/c chances are he doesn't know himself. Live your life in a way that YOU want to live it and can look in the mirror and say "this is who I am" (and not that crazy lady that was a reaction to my messed up M).

Are you getting out at all with friends or hobbies? Can you appreciate the good things you do have in your life?

Hope some of this helps in some way. Some threads are quieter than others - mine is not particularly active - but even reading other threads does help. You are not alone.