I did like hearing him say I was a good woman and that I didn't deserve to be treated like that. But...I don't know if he REALLY feels that way. To be honest, I STILL have a hard time believing that myself, so it's hard to believe he would think that. Maybe it's due to low self-esteem...I don't know.
This is the problem Rlay. As Brook said.
Your self image is tied directly to him and what he says, does, and thinks about you.
Listen your M is a pattern of co-dependency.
H gets depressed, looks to you to make him feel better, you like being needed so you fill that role, H abuses you (emotionally and physically), H feels depressed confused, scared he will lose his drug (you), you comfort him because you like to feel needed and approved of by him, H abuses you, gets depressed, you comfort him, you fell needed
H abuses you H gets depressed H gets scared he will lose you YOU feel needed You stay
H abuses you H gets depressed H gets scared he will lose you YOU feel needed You stay
H abuses you H gets depressed H gets scared he will lose you YOU feel needed You stay
H abuses you H gets depressed H gets scared he will lose you YOU feel needed You stay
H abuses you H gets depressed H gets scared he will lose you YOU feel needed You stay
Had enough of yet?
Rlay you have to start to accept that your M was not a healthy M. And it needs to die.
I am not saying end the M.
I am saying IF there is going to be a new one you have to end the old one.
If you have not read the detachment link at livestrong do it and do it and do it till you get it.
Join Al Anon if you feel it will help. That group is for people who have addicts in their life and it is about breaking that pattern.
It is not good for either person. It is not healthy.
Do everything you need to do to detach. No contact if you need to (I would suggest maybe this is necessary).
This is going to be tougher for you because the urge to contact will be stronger because of your dependency on him.
Do you understand what I am saying?
Do you recognize the dynaminc of your R with H?
And listen to me here cause this is the most important thing....
DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT?
Then let's get to gettin' (nickel Brooklyn)
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
