"Have you noticed your W's eyes? Many report a dull and lifeless look in them. I've seen this in my H's as well."
Yes I have. There's been quite a few times in the past year that I've noticed my wife's eye's and they have this 'staring off into space' look. It kinda creeps me out. Before she moved out there were also a handful of times when she was extremely stressed out, crazy, guilt-ridden, whatever [from being secretive, hiding her EA] and her pupils became very dilated. Is that something you've experienced? In the last couple of months or so my wife does seem somewhat more grounded, and her eyes definitely appear more consistenly 'engaged', even when she cycles through mood swings, etc...
I just thought of something. Why is it that there seems to be sooooo many common denominator "dont's" when it comes to dealing with an MLC spouse - for example, don't have relationship talk, don't do this, don't do that? However, aside from detachment, there seems to be very few (if any) "DO's" in terms of potential positive actions one can take to help their MLC spouse through their crisis and thus successfully their relationship. Why is that?
I see that alot of advice you all give me definitely hits the proverbial nail-on-the-head when it comes to recognizing/dealing with certain aspects of tmy wife's crisis. On the other hand, alot of the "Dont's" simply don't apply as well...because of my wife's individual character and the Chinese culture in which she was born and raised. That makes it tough for me to come here seeking advice sometimes, just knowing my wife's character, and feeling, "Well, that will never work." Or, something along those lines.
Oh well. Just getting my thought out again. Thanks for any feedback you all can provide.
