Setting them free

[steady]

Thanks Steady for the email wording.

My WH may not understand my logic right now (being so driven by his feelings), but in years to come he might & it's for that I wanted a final email.

I know that me being 'right' will not bring him back or take him out of his Feeling Fog.

Oh, and it's not that important, but to clarify, my WH dropped the bomb and separated when I was 4 months pregnant and has been making moves since them to live o/seas with OW. He goes in a matter of weeks.

I would pass any final emails past some of the veterans here. I think you also need to be clear as to why you want to send it. I can see healthy and unhealthy reasons and you want to get the most benefit for yourself from it if you do send one.

I have no idea what will take them out of a fog. I think of it like grace...sort of an alcoholic who has an epiphany and realizes the drinking is ruining their whole life. They don't wake up one day and start pondering on it - it usually comes in like a lightning bolt that shakes the crap out of them.

It can be triggered by everyday mundane things. Washing dishes, staring out a window, a smell, a song, music, a memory, just out of the blue, something someone says. Look at all of us here - it was a bomb that woke us from a slumber.

I don't remember the persons name on this board. But he was in front of the judge 2 or 3 times for the final divorce hearing. I'm not sure what happened, but at the last one his wife did a reversal. He had written her a letter and gave it to her at some point in time. If I can remember who it was I'll point you in that direction. But that's how things can turn on a dime.