M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I'm glad Puppy gave a word of caution about the sleeping issue. I thought the same thing. You're definitly getting to your W. Now, she'll find out what it's like to think about your spouse with someone else.
Don't feel bad for spending time on yourself. Women have put up with that guilt for years.
I would like to suggest that you "Be the best dad ever" and then "Mr single".
Live like today may be the last day you have with your kids. What choice would you make? Going out with buddies or reading a book to them at bed time.....After they go to sleep, go out for a bit....
The best thing I did was get a week on/week off parenting agreement with a mid week dinner visit. My relationship with my kids is what is important. Everything is in balance. My free time is in balance with my parenting time. I have family weekends and single guy weekends.....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Thanks R2C. That is what I did on Thursday nite and I meant to be home in time to tuck them in on Sunday too, just slipped by. I'll do better with that in the future.
I am hoping for the week-on/week-off thing too. My atty suggested the mid-week dinner visit too. Sometimes I think a few days on/few days off would be better for my work schedule, but I think that is too much jostling for the kids.
Last time I brought it up, W said that she didn't want to talk about it yet. I also brought-up valuing our assets so that we could divide them a while back and she said she didn't want to talk about that because it was too soon. Seems there are a lot of things she doesn't want to talk about, OM included.
On a related note, a few days after she told me she wanted a D, she stopped wearing her wedding ring. I offerred mine to her one time, but she wouldn't take it. My sister asked why she had to borrow retainer money for her lawyer. Why didn't she just sell the ring for money? Should I ask for it back? In the back of my mind sometimes I think she is keeping it and doesn't want to talk about all of these issues because she really doesn't want to do this.
Was just reading Puppy's 17,000th post thread and it talks about the Bo-peep philosophy and how A's won't end until they are busted. Makes sense to me, but how do I approach this sitch?
I found out that my W was having an EA/PA in mid-May. OM's wife told me. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing and they didn't talk that much. So, I pulled her phone records and busted her on it. Much more phoning and texting than she admitted to. She said it would stop, but she just started calling from a different phone. I kept in touch with OMW and we figured it out and I busted her on that too. She then filed for D. Not sure if it was because I busted her or for other reasons.
I'm still in touch with OMW. OM now has OW2 and supposedly W is very hurt and very mad at him.
Just got a note from OMW that said OM committed to his phone minutes being down this month, but they are not. She thinks W is still taking to OM, but doesn't see the numbers from the incoming calls. Could also be OW2.
Since W has filed, and it is her personal cell phone account, I have not looked at the phone bills. She destroys or hides them immediately. If she IS still talking to OM, do I need to bust this again, or doesn't it matter since she has filed and I am GAL? Do I just consider us D already and leave it alone, or should I investigate more?
Her, her mom, her brothers, my mom, my brother and sister, one neighbor first, some friends of mine at work and some of our long-time friends with allegiance to me. Once she filed I told another neighbor. I know that at least some of her friends know. Not sure which ones don't know.
Maybe I went overboard?
Was advised here to leave it alone now. No point in looking into it more. That would be pursuing. I am still in contact with OMW and W and OM do not like it one bit. OMW thinks her H will spill his guts about more details eventually and I would have to agree with her, but who knows. OMW brought up the fact that she needs to know what occurred in counseling and C agreed. They both see the same counselor, but separately.
Stayed around home tonight. Played with D a bit, but she is tired and grumpy. My S is sleeping over at a friends house and she got grounded from playing with the neighbors, so she was angry.
Going to bed early tonight. I need some extra sleep.
