I called her today but got her voice mail. I left her a message pretty much word for word with what Robx suggested...signing the agreement, not doing it to get her back, not arguing anymore, me acting like an adult, me being there if she ever wanted to talk, telling her I didn't want her to go to counseling if she didn't want to and I would be ok either way, etc. It felt good. It felt good to finally stand-up, be a man and do the right thing for my W.
It shouldn't have taken me this long to do it but at least I finally got there. Sometimes I think too much before I finally act. If nothing else I hope it makes her feel less stressed about the house. It's the least I can do.
It was a bit strange after I left the message. I felt like this is exactly the kind of thing I should have done long ago...doing what is right for my W instead of just what I wanted. It was weird to tell her for the first time that I would be ok no matter what happens to us. Maybe my first step in letting her go, I don't know. Yeah, maybe it is too late now. I had a wonderful woman and through my mistakes I lost her. I told her that I wish her the best and for her happiness.
I did find it odd that I hadn't heard from her since our emails on Sunday. I know she said she was worried about the house but she never got back to me. Oh well, no matter. I feel like I finally did the right thing today. Today was a good day. Felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. Made me feel so good to leave the message for my W knowing it hopefully helps HER.
Well leaving a message and reading that script wasn't some magic formula, it's basically you recognizing you're stalling things, which isn't a great idea in your situation and learning to let her go.
It's not just a script though, you have to let her go, assume things are over, detach, move on with your life and prepare for the changes coming. I know some people on these forums are looking for some magical thing to do which is going to turn that "ON" switch for their spouse and get them back to wanting to be married again.
There are no quick kills on the to do list.
You said dating isn't an option.
That's cool, I can respect a person that can actually say "NO" to something they don't want to do, at least that's honest. However, looking back on your situation, we don't want you to feel that you didn't do everything you could do.
Gucci has given you really good advice on your thread, run with it, do the right thing, not something you "feel" you should do, just do what's right. If dating other women isn't your thing, guess what, you'll never know if it could have worked or not.
Maybe give yourself some time to process selling the home and moving on with your life. No more emotional breakdowns, "melty man" episodes, 3 dozen rose deliveries, gifts, etc.
Time for you take a break from your wife for you.
She's all you think about, I can hear that in every post you put up on your thread. Just take a break from her, maybe from this site for a few days and do something just for you. Don't worry about checking your email, responding to voicemails or texts, just take a break.
