Just be aware that "brutal honesty" does not always equal truth. She certainly didn't 'fess up to the truth about being in an A before she left the house. Somewhat selective in her "brutal honesty" I would say.
She didn't admit to her A, but she seriously pulled away. I didn't know about the A, but I could tell something was seriously wrong. After she decided OM was "her man", she refused to touch me in any way. So even if she was being externally dishonest with me, her behavior betrayed the truth. Although it sucked for me, I use that experience to note how different she is with me now.
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She obviously picks her friends who are the type that would go along with whatever she wants. She has a manipulative personality, I would say. I could be wrong, of course. I don't want to put too much of a negative spin here. The changes she has made are awesome, but I doubt it had anything to do with OM. That part is only in her mind, but he doesn't sound like the inspiring type of guy.
Yes, she does have some core manipulative tendancies, and I'll need to learn to manage them if we are to reconcile. My eyes are wide open now. Her friends are wimps. They look up to her like she's the queen of all R knowledge. What a joke.
The changes she made had more to do with our separation, just as mine have. Getting away from each other allowed our destructive cycle to be broken, and healing to begin. Simple as that.
Oh, OM gave her all sorts of validation. He sung her praises in every way, and validated all her reasons why she was so unhappy with me in our M. He joined her in her fantasies about travelling the world in some eternal erotic bliss. Reality quickly reared its head as she turned up the pressure, and he slinked away, giving her lines like "I can't move across the world, but if you ever need anything, I'm here for you." She gave him more rope, coming up with a ridiculous "five year plan" where she'd divorce me and get herself all set up in a nice home with the kids, and he'd work on his business and make money, looking forward to the wonderful future day when they could be together. She travelled to see him three times, and after each time they "broke up", only to have her throw herself at him again and keep it going toward a slow inevitable death. He never travelled here to see her. Doesn't sound very inspiring to me either.
