Kind of a weird feeling today. I'm definintely not feeling sad, but more a mixture of anger and shock. Not shock about OW3 (I've already processed that feeling), but more shock of what people are capable of. I knew H had this other R, but I could watch him right in front of my eyes be so loving and caring as if I was the only person in the world who ever mattered. It just amazes me how deceitful a person could be and to be soooo good at it...well that's just scary. It's weird too - how come he didn't deny anything? He came off so cocky as if his attitude were saying, yeah, and what are u going to do about it...as if somehow he's previledged enoughed to have both worlds. I'm glad I'm finally standing up to him! I think before as much as I wanted to do so, I was ultimately afraid of losing him before, so I let him walk all over me. But now I think I'm ready to let him go if need be. A boundary has been set now - no OW or no me - and that's the line I'm keeping. He's never sacrificed anything before, so I'm skeptical that he would do so now (as if letting go of a woman he's only know for a short time is really a sacrifice to keep your W and S, but whatever). I'm so angry right now that I want to just call him up and tell him I'm done and just file those darn D papers. But I know i have to give him a chance to prove me wrong, but I guess in a few months when I'm right, we'll start the D process. It's definitely discouraging tho - definitely not the man I married (or thought I married)... =/
I'm going to grab so coffee with my girlfriends tomorrow night, so that should be a good break from this all. No plans for the weekend yet, so I'll have to make something happen...maybe a trip to our county fair?
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
