Heavy EA and Withdrawal

[doing my best]

OK....I am over in Newcomers with http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;page=1]my sich but I wanted to throw this out to you guys over here.

With a heavy EA....the one my W was in with her old BF/Fiance from college...the guy she was supposed to marry until he walked away from her 22 years ago. The guy she says she has always had feelings for but recently stirred after reconnecting on FB....3000 text messages and 40 hours of phone calls, and untold emails. He is married with 3 kids and lives 1000 miles away. Contact as far as I can tell with heavy Intel was cut off May 28, 2010. However, it still seems she is being influenced by thoughts of him. Last week found a fantasy brainstorming exercise where she laid out what a possible life with him may be like in 10 years. She at times has told me she HOPES she can get over the feelings for him. She does not like it when I bring him up....I fixate...and she tells me she is trying to forget him yet I keep bringing him up.

I found her original notes to herself saying that contact with him for the 2 months made her feel alive, happy, excited, etc. She wrote that she understood why she had to cut it off but still does not think it is fair to her when she finally was "happy".

We have not made much progress although my actions, behaviors, habits have changed. The atmosphere in the house is much better and I am becoming the person who W originally fell in love with. Yet she has moved further away from me.

As far as I can tell the EA was mainly one-sided on HER end....although I am sure he loved the attention. She was very loving to me for many years and even several months ago. Now....very friendly...but nothing.

So...in a heavy "I am in love EA" if she has truly cut off communication, is there a chance that her feelings can continue so strongly for so long. Could she have anger directed to me for ending the EA. Could that be hindering our progress?

Any insight? Active fantasies that she still writes out? What have you guys seen out there for a WS that may still want to end the marriage even though the EA is over.

DMB