I too have been at this for almost 2 yrs. I am at the end of my rope too. I had a bad spell this week and was ready to throw in the towel. Right now I am just trying to get thru the holidays.
Do the exercise on the detatching thread. It really helps. My H is not trustworthy. I have trusted him over and over again to only be told more lies. The truth is all his lies or most of them center around his time spent with his female friend/boss. In the past I was very controlling and judgemental about their R and never held back telling my H.
So now H does not want to tell me anything that involves her name so he lies. H is still selfish and wants to do whatever he wants and does not want me telling him he can't do something. Conflict avoider that he is.
If I was more detatched I would be saying: H does not trust me enough yet that I will not be judgemental and controlling when he tells me something I may not agree with. H is not intentionally hurting me, he is just trying to do the best he can. I just need to show him my unconditional love and support. I will trust him even if he has shown me he is not trustworthy. I am in control of how I think and feel. nik
