Making progress and reconnecting.....ayieee

[CPCajun]

I just wish everything comes out, so we can move forward. That is what I want. I want all the skeletons to come out, no matter how bad. I just dont know how to get to that point with out flat telling or pressuring her to do so.

Wishing isn't a plan.

"Here is what I need in my marriage___________, ___________, _____________, and________________. If you can't respect that then I have decided that I can't be married to you."

The blanks are the non-negiotable issues. "I won't share you wtih another man."Joint decisions on how we spend our money."

You then need ways to verify these issues. Transparency: access to each others e-mail, FB, cell phone etc. Weekly discussions about your finances. Find solutions that work for you two.

You steer clear of the emotions by thinking thru the issues. Calm, cool and collected. Lead on brother.

Yeah, wish did not come out right.


What you posted here is pretty much what I have stored away in my skull. The not sharing with another man is already been brought to her. ...several times. I can include it in the plan, but I think it will be pushing it. I got fantasy land out of her head.



for now..I'll add more when I think of it....

Boundary / Transparancy
-Joint decisions on spending money. /We will review finances together. Even separate personal accounts.
-Be open / Allow access to "all" other accounts, email,phone, etc.
-Children/collectively agree on punishments, curfews, etc.