Question

[awest1217]

Yeah I should probably get checked out, but I am going to let my body heal and just listen to it.

So far today...I cut S's hair, which is always a pain, but he looks much better and he will look great for his pics next week.

We went to the park. S rode his bike the whole way there for the 1st time! I text my sibs and H about it. Then while swinging, S asked for daddy to come and push him and wanted to call him so I dialed and no answer. We tried two more times and H never answered and hasn't asked why I called yet. This is mostly for me to remember so if it comes down to a battle (which I doubt) I have instances where I tried. This is also why I didn't call H to get S when I fainted because he doesn't answer the phone and I needed someone right then...not in 30 min. S was upset for a while, but we still had fun adn he rode most of the way back.

My mom stopped by to help me move an ugly loveseat off my porch that H moved there two years ago and promised he would throw it out and never did. Now my porch looks great! My mom also told me one of my long time friends saw H out with two women (the ladies on his team I am assuming) last week at a restaurant. She said he noticed her, but it was awkward. I don't think H understands how many people I know. He was the "prince" of our town, but now I know probably more people than he does and since I am more sociable they all still like me...very awkward for him.

Next on to making rice krispy treats that S has been wanting for a while.

Then naps and off to our local minor league baseball team's game. My brother and his family is going and with S liking baseball he should really learn the rules like running the bases. I hate baseball, but will do anything for S. It is $1 night so you get in for $1 and get a hot dog for $1 and a drink for $1...good deal!

Tomorrow possibly the beach if it doesn't rain or a splash pad. Wednesday I have to work on teh sunday school and Thursday and Friday I have my nephew. Then Saturday have the day with daddy my brother wants to have S over for his first sleep over with his cousin. Then Sunday starts my term as sunday school superintendent so a lot of pressure, but so excited. Next week we have pics on Tuesday and probably going to my classroom one day. Also SIL talked about an adult day at the beach during the week so I could have some fun by myself before work. The week after S has a doc appointment and after that is work again...it has flown by, but S misses school and I am starting to get bored, especially since it has been so hot this year. Last year was cool so we spent everyday outside all day...not this year.

[ClingingToHope]

I think your thread gets locked at 99 pages. Your new thread could be "answer."

Yes. These are the dog days of summer. Girls go back to school in four weeks.

[Lucky11too]

Wow, good stuff. It's great that you are getting to enjoy S and do lots of fun things. Sucks that H can't even answer the phone to talk to his S, but that's definitely his loss that he continues to miss out on all the joys of S too. It's too bad S has to get his little heart broken, but he's lucky to have a great mom! ;-)

[awest1217]

I have been trying to text H since yesterday to have a talk. We need to discuss this whole not answering the phone thing because last Wednesday was an emergency and to S yesterday was an emergency and he needs to answer. I don't call him to bug him. I call because S needs him.

We also need to discuss the D. I want to get moving and I am really thinking about just filing myself because H isn't doing anything to move anywhere and is probably hoping I will just forget about it because deep down I think he knows this is going to hurt him and he doesn't want that responsibility, or maybe he is hiding something he doesn't want me to know about. Either way, I have been in limbo for 16 months and if he wants a D, it is time to start moving on it.

Last night at the game, the friends of the girl behind us put on the score board how she is single, needs a date and her seat number. My SIL and brother said they are going to do that to me when my D is final. I said no way because I am NOT finding guys that way. The general manager was sending guys to this girl so it was funny, but I would be so embarassed.

Everyone around me, including me, is ready for this to be over so I want to get moving, but once again H won't do anything...time to keep bugging him because some of this is important.

[Lucky11too]

I can definitely see where you would want to file. Your H has been at a complete standstill for months now! I don't know how you can make him pick up the phone, but you're right, that absolutely has to be addressed. You would have thought your emergency last week would have been a wake up call for that, when he had no idea what was wrong b/c he wouldn't pick up his phone originally. Besides dealing with these logistical issues, you seem to really be moving along well with your own life. Since I seem to be a few months behind you now in the stages with H, I hope to find that peace soon too (unless you have any words of wisdom looking back now on how to get off the D trail!)

In regards to your question a few weeks ago, I have some more info on saving text messages to your computer (if you already haven't figured it out). Who makes your phone? I just got a new pantech phone a few weeks ago & the texts are already full, so I had to search this out some more this weekend. This phone did not come with a USB cable either, but I was able to pick up one at amazon for a few bucks (usb connection on one side and phone connection - same as charger - on the other.) All the phone manufacters seem to have a PC Suite that you can download for free, so I downloaded that. From there, you should be able to hook it up, follow the directions, and be good to go. Hope that helps!

[awest1217]

H finally contacted me...after I text him the same message yesterday afternoon, last night, this morning and tonight. I know a little much, but it is important! He said he was sorry, but he was trying to find out the answers to some of my questions and didn't know when he would know about them. He also said yesterday he was at his grandma's doing work and he kept his phone in his bag in the car...great place if there is another emergency. Also if it was there why not call back or text to see if I needed something. I have to explain here. He hates when people call and don't leave a message and many times unless it is OW (or someone he likes) won't answer the phone and just let it go to voicemail to see what they want, and if they don't leave a good enough message he won't call them back (a good message is one where it explains in detail what you want). I know all of this, but when a 2 yr old is calling...he doesn't know how to leave a message and I don't care I am the mother of his kid. You call back no matter what. What if I was on the floor unconscience again and S dialed the number (he knows how to do that). Or what if something else happened and I couldn't talk a lot like I was being robbed. Who knows? He needs to answer.

Sorry about the rant. He said we would talk later this week...we will see. Then I should get some answers.

Lucky - As to what to do. I think my sitch although similar is very different. H doesn't have any depression or ADHD or anything. Although I think he has some serious psychological issues coming from his childhood, he doesn't have the other issues. OW has convinced him that he is autistic...whatever...only since he has moved out. Oh and now he is on even more meds for his skin issues (went to a dermatologist) so that means he is on I believe 7 meds 4 are vitamins, and was on 1 when he left. Anyway I don't have any advice because your H has some serious issues to work through and is still making progress. Although the OW is a setback, he is still trying to pursue you or was for a while. When it comes to OW, unless the WAS is even a little remorseful I would say file right away and leave him/her. My H has not once admitted to anything or said he was sorry for OW. He says he is sorry, but is always generic and never takes responsibility for his actions. So my advice is just file when you are ready, but in the mean time do all you can to detach and GAL because that will help you decide what to do and help you if he never comes around (which once meds and sleep start helping he may).

[awest1217]

So get this...

In the mail today is a postcard addressed to H and OW from a travel agency telling them thank you for booking their recent get away and they should come back soon.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I automatically called a friend and then text H about meeting today so i don't have to see him ever again. Now he won't answer. I am so going to file and calling the L ASAP.

I first need to stop feeling like I am about to throw up and like crying and soooo soooo mad.

It is one thing to do whatever, but to go away together somewhere where you needed a travel agent and to do that while she is still married actually while they are both still married?!?!?! I don't care they are so stupid and I don't want her anywhere near my S until she is D'd and we are D'd..then if they still pursue a R that I can't stop, but before then...I can.

[Lucky11too]

Wow!!! Yeah, enough is enough. You have been thru so much, but this just tops it. It is definitely time to move beyond H and get your own life, so that you aren't the only one having to stick to the rules of marriage. Uggg. I can but I can't belive it either. So sorry you had to go thru this! I guess they'll never learn...

[awest1217]

Called the L and will be filing. I have an appointment Monday at 2 pm. I am not going to tell H until Monday so he doesn't have a chance to move money around just in case... (he would give it to her)

[awest1217]

my new thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...933#Post2046933