Haven't posted for a long time because I went on vacation, did a good bit of NC, then it seemed we were entering a new phase.
My IC had me discuss some boundaries with him which seemed to be a catalyst for him to move towards R talk.
A week later he told me he wanted to reconcile and needed to decide how to tell OW. He left a day later for 10 day business trip to Europe, returning theis past Wed. evening. He came straight from the airport, having been up 22 hours to take myself and D20 out for her birthday. We had a nice evening topped of by a family late night swim.
We spent Sat. evening and all day Sun together working around the house, enjoying breaks in our pool, and having dinner together. Our discussions resulted in him expressing fear I wouldn't be able to take him back. Upon reassurance he told me he didn't deserve me and I didn't deserve him. Sunday evening he told me he had a discussion with the OW this past Fri & told her he felt his place was with me. He confessed that while in Europe he had looked at tickets to fly me over, but they were too expensive for a weekend. Said he thinks of me, not her when he is away.(he travels a lot)
I asked if he had a plan for R and he said no plan or time frame. He knows he needs IC, (he had been going earlier, but is planning on starting w/ someone new because the old one didn't seem to be a good match)and wants them to help guide him. Seems he is dragging his heels on that, but he travels at least a few days every week.
He also asked if my intention would be for him to come home and back in my bed. Said my answers reassurances of forgiveness helped him further his decision.
My questions now are: 1)I know he is still MLC, He wants my trust, but understands he hasn't earned it. How much slack do I give him in this phase? 2)Do I still limit contact? 3)How much pressure if any, do I make towards a final break with this woman? I did let him know I understood how hard it was, but I needed a 100% break before I could commit emotionally. 4)How is it best to proceed?
