21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

You know I have not fully detached and you have called me on it more than once. I can file the paperwork tomorrow...my L has wanted me to since the day I met him. She takes the kids to summer school at 7 am and I get them before 6 pm (usually 4-5pm) while she works late. I will tell her my meeting is in the late afternoon and she will have to get the kids because I am signing required paperwork with L. I hope I know what I am doing.

Chuck

[robx]

bro I know this is scary, new, uncertain,
but how many choices do you have?
how long have you been dealing with this BS?

Is she committed to you and your family?
Never mind the effects you,
how about the kids?
She's having an affair with some guy?
Or she's interested enough in some guy that she has given you the boot and doesn't care enough to work on the marriage?

You're settling for this?

Again, your choice on this,
she either commits to working 110% wholeheartedly on the marriage through counseling and whatever is required or she has to go, which means she has to move out, find a new place to live because you can't live with a wife who is chasing some other guy.

Based on what you've told us so far with recent interactions with her, she doesn't want to be with you, that's her mindset, those are her feelings, agree with them, let her go, have her move out, file for D and let her deal with the reality of her situation.

[Chuck66]

It is time to either [censored] or get off the pot! I have only been dealing with this crap since June and I'm already sick of it. I don't know how some folks last for so long. Hell I am not even finished reading my DB book. I guess you can't get much more detached than filing for a D.

I will call my L in the am.

[robx]

bro you've been posting on this site as well as other sites for I think a few months already,
looking for some insight into your situation,
but you clearly paint your wife as a woman who doesn't want to be with you, give her what she wants, freedom from you, stop pursuing her, ask her to move out, give her exactly what she wants, freedom.

Give yourself some peace of mind on this situation,

[Chuck66]

ok...

BTW, Her L told her not to leave the house come hell or high water.

[Chuck66]

Had IC today. C said I was in too good of mood and thinks it might not be healthy to suppress my feelings. I told C I kind of like doing that right now and will bawl about it later.

I could not get thru to my L. I emailed him to file the application for D. I need some kind of feedback that he got that message, then I will change my signature block.

Chuck

[bluestar]

Chuck, you may need to think about a new C. It doesn't seem from your posts that your suppressing your feelings. You just moved on from the sadness to the anger. By the way, filing for D doesn't not necessarily bring about detachment.

[Chuck66]

I know but I thought it would help.

[Chuck66]

Still never got any feedback from L if my application for D was initiated. Trying not to think about W and be busy myself. Hard not to notice the lowest cut shirt I've seen her wear to work this morning.

[Chuck66]

Very inspirational story.

www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=014880;p=1