And let's be frank here. Whenever something happens like this, there were problems caused by both parties. So does that mean that gman has to keep "filling her cup" to show his remorse for the things he did in the past? Of course not. You can't keep rehashing stuff from the past and have this constant battle of "well you OWE it to me". You do it because you WANT to. Not because you're OBLIGATED to.
Wow...nice discussion. I have taken ownership of my past and things that she claims pushed her away (not paying attention to her and controlling her - which sounds too much like script for me to actually buy, as our friends all tell me that i treat her like a princess) but either wway i don't want to go back to that place and will never let it happen (my GAL and 180's i learned a while back).
i do feel a bit of the "she owes me", but i know that if i let that rule my day then we are only heading down that same "cheeseless tunnel" we are trying to escape from.
i really apprciate all of your insight. counceling may be a bit of a stretch on the $ right now
gman
Last edited by gman; 07/27/1001:10 PM.
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
If you belong to a church, you might also see if there are any programs for marriage through them. If your W is ashamed at talking to a counselor, a group setting with other couples might be good.
There are also some great podcasts available for download for free on the iTunes store. Stay Happily Married is a great one.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
