feelings as OW seems to be on way out

[forward]

Also, OW is just far enough away that she will probably come back to visit periodically.

[TRUSTING]

The main kicker for me is the hurt and pain they have put the children through as well as portraying to the kids that this is an ok way to live your life. Ex tries to make me look like the bad guy all the time. It does get to you after a while.

[sleeper]

Ex tries to make me look like the bad guy all the time.

Major projection.

Deep inside he knows he is "the bad guy" and doesn't feel good about himself. Making you out to be the bad guy (worse than him) makes him feel better about himself and justifies his actions to himself and the children.

Pathetic stuff.

[braveheart]

Forward, I expect this OW to see him some at the start, but as time goes on, they will grow apart. Long distance relationships are tough in any circumstance, but in this one I think it will be about impossible to maintain, plus you have to factor in that he is much older than her and she will be going to school with people her own age or near it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

[sleeper]

"Karma baby, Karma" Telly Sleepervalis

[forward]

BH, I don't know--that sort of arrangement seems as if it could fuel addictive relationship behavior. So who konws--maybe this is the brilliant enduring situation.

Now I am getting interested in someone else. I admit that I find myself attracted to X when I see him, but that is changing as well.

[forward]

So now there is this new guy, and I am finding that I feel...chased. I guess I understand things from that point of view a little bit better now--what it is like to feel chased. It really is a relief when he backs off. And yes, I do feel more inclined to respond when he isn't pushing.

I have to admit: I have seen this guy a number of times but I am having trouble feeling comfortable around him. I like him and I like talking with him but I just can't relax.

I noticed X seemed sad today (OW was away) and I more or less told him to leave. I suspect that there will be further lingering once OW is really out of the scene.

I worry some about X. He has never been a person with a lot of friends all around him. With OW gone, he will spend most of his time alone.

[braveheart]

I wouldn't worry about this goofball for one second, he got what he wanted, tell him to lay in the bed he made and move on with your life.

[TRUSTING]

Being alone is what he needs. He can think then about everything he has done to you and the pain he has caused.

[forward]

Trusting, Well, I think LBSers have to avoid the whole victim mentality, so I can't say that that is quite how I feel.

In a way, it might be good for LBSers to see that what the WAS "did to them" is GOOD because it broke a seriously codependent pattern. We can't run off rescuing others; this is not healthy.

I can't help that I have twinges of feelings there but I am hoping that I can move on to be healthier.

I hope that what X gets out of this is some maturity and ability to take care of himself financially and otherwise. I was, unfortunately, someone who rescued him.