CTH, I know you're dreading her visit to Sturgis. I think women can deal with this type of 'betrayal' a bit better than us we just want to punch out every guy that gets within 2 feet of our spouses/gfs etc. But I think that's where the detachment comes into play she's no longer your wife. You have no control over what she does (or anyone else for that matter). If that's what she chooses to do that's her problem. If she has poor judgement then that's also her problem. You need to focus on YOU and the kids!! She'll have to live with the consequences of the decisions she makes and you'll have to live with yours.
Why don't you plan to do something special and relaxing while she's away. Take the kids fishing or something?
So she said she can't go with you guys to celebrate D7's b.day somewhere? that's fine. You will have the kids all to yourself, enjoy them! they grow up too darned fast!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again