Quote: "that's just the way he is" as it seemed even his own family saw him that way....
BUT
how can it be so?
he did have some kind of intimate r with ow
Perhaps, it was the newness of it all. We get an initial surge of euphoria in a new relationship, then we tend to return to our equilibrium level. Obviously, when you were deciding to marry there was some heightened level of interest in you on the part of your H. I can remember meeting women with whom I clicked while married. I did get the inner excitement. I just never did anything to pursue it.
IMP
that would make sense in most any other sit imp...however...h's interest in this woman occured before he married me! she even wrote him a letter before we married (btw she was already married at that time) he knew me for many years prior to meeting her however there was something there with them.
his words...
there was a feeling with her that was never there with me..he told himself this can't be right, I'm supposed to be marrying LL..so he stayed away from her (other than keeping her as a customer) but nothing changed with me...he missed that feeling decided one day to start talking to her again and "it" was there.
at this point I don't really care about my m...there is little at this point that h or I can do that will make things better...sure there's some little things that will suffice..but I feel like I've waisted and vested so much of my life in nothing for nothing....I honestly think that if it weren't for these two kids (which I questioned bringing into this r in the first place so it's not the kids getting in the way of the r) I would pack a bag and go away on a long soul searching vacation by myself for myself and may not even tell anyone where I am...sort of a do over for live in general.
and there's no point in dreaming of waiting til the kids are older cause that is what my mom did and it sure didn't make things any easier on me.
ramble, ramble, ramble, bitch, bitch, bitch.....all I can do is talk and try and change, and do this or don't do this or do that or don't do that...point is the only way to get h's attention is to act like I don't give a crap anymore and that is not the kind of r I want...I honestly don't even think I want a r anymore...how bout a friend...that would be nice.
