2, what he is saying is standard script for the MLCer. He blaming the external things in his life (you) for his problems because he won't take a look at his internal issues (himself).
Your H is right, it absolutely is a mental issue and he's using booze and running as his band aids. He's covering wounds so he doesn't have to look at them.
All those things that he's saying about you are projections. Those are the things he feels about himself, but is unwilling or unable to acknowledge at this point.
The anger and resentment you feel is natural, but you need to work on those things for yourself, not for your H.
2, learn all you can about MLC. Read the resources, other people's sitches, go to the library or online. The more you learn the easier it is to understand and detach from your H's drama.
Detaching doesn't mean you stop loving your H. You love him from a distance. It is a form of protection for yourself. You get to a place where what they say and do doesn't affect you or your ability to function and do what needs to be done. Knowledge is power.
As far as still engaging in sex with your H, that's a personal choice you have to make. Just remember that it probably doesn't have the same emotional significance for your H that it does you.
Since I don't have any experience in that area (my H has an ow) to draw on I imagine that having zero expectations from those encounters would be necessary for you as well.
Personally, I would make absolutely certain there is not an ow. The risk of a STD for you is bad enough, but you have an unborn child to think about.
The accusations that your H keeps making about you running around having sex with other people would make me highly suspicious that what he is projecting on you may be because he is trying to justify what he's doing himself.
2, I'm not saying any of this to make you feel bad or to scare you. You are the only one at this point with you and your children's best interests at heart.
