Setting them free

[steady]

I'm right with you robx.

I've never heard it said before I saw you say it - "The WAS are in love with their feelings."

I also think the ultimate losers in divorce are the children. I told my W this months and months ago. Of course her position was, as I'm sure all pro-divorce people are, kids are resilient. It's amazing.

My kids may be resilient. But I see an even bigger picture. Today I watched my son play t-ball. As I was watching I thought about how my W should be taking my D for some girl time and I should be taking my S to the park to practice hitting, fielding grounders, throwing, learning the rules of the game.

But I can't do that. Our kids have only one parent at a time. My D would be bored to death sitting there watching me teach my S. She's too young to participate. I know there are ways around it and there are solutions - I could have my SIL watch my D. My point is it shouldn't have to be a big deal to do this stuff. The kids lose out.

When they're older and in school and they both have homework or projects they both need help with - now there's one parent trying to help them both, while cooking a dinner, while cleaning out their lunchboxes and getting lunch ready for the next day, while doing all of the household chores that need to get done.

They're resilient? What about everything else they're going to get short-changed on? I can make a huge list of where they lose.

And my W once said, "I'll put them through whatever they have to go through so they don't see their mother crying every day." That told me everything right there.

Let her go. Let them go. If they're lucky they'll crash and burn. If not, they'll just build a pile of crap they'll run from again - wash, rinse, repeat.