LL, I can certainly understand how you feel. It's just one day after another trying to make this R work and then when and IF he does come home will I have to walk on eggshells again? I've been big on trying to get him to come home, but I'm with you about the trust thing. I'm not sure I'll ever trust him again. Can I live with that? Well, so far I am, but I'm not sure in the long run if I can keep it all stuffed inside. I'm working my tail off trying to get my H to feel for me what he used to feel. Do I have the power to do that? I'm not sure. I think he'll either come around or he won't. We are together all the time and he says ILY and we are intimant, but am I HAPPY? NO. I want it all. I want more than my H can or will give me. There are things about him that I know will never change and I have to decide if I can live with them. I want someone that cherishes me. What would that feel like?? It's been so long I've forgotten. Not forgotten enough to not want it though. It must be venting day today. I'm in some kind of mood about all this. I guess we all go through this at some time during this crazy process. The only sure thing in life is change and our H's changed on us in a big way. We are bound to change also as a result of it. I'm not giving up on my marriage but I am questioning what I'm getting myself back into. Do you think it's possible your doing the same? Rachael
