A new beginning to an end

[soleil]

However, for me just hearing them over and over again helps to start believe in them and slowly your brain starts thinking differently.

Thanks for those kind words. They went a long way yesterday when I was reading them before I felt like my head was going to explode. LOL. It is nice to hear some comforting things when the world seems like it's crashing all around you!

I want to crawl in a whole and disappear, or i'd like very much to find the peace that you seem to have. How do you do it?

Hi Brena,
I also found your thread and posted! I am certainly no expert but I guess it's clear to me that I am the one who is waiting and waiting and waiting for something to happen and it doesn't. This hurts more than anything but I can't keep like this, in limbo. Last night we spoke and he was saying how he can't be without me, how he wants me to be by his side, misses sleeping with me, that we don't get along, this, thath etc. That makes no f-cking sense! LOL. His words do not match his actions. He said, maybe after all this we'll see what happens/who knows what will happen and I told him people don't D to see if things get 'better.' They D to end their Ms. He says he keeps meaning to see his L but can't bring himself to do it. What?

I cannot, for me, stay like this. So as much as it pains me (and it's the worst pain-like a dagger in my heart), I have to let him go.