Don't try to make it hard on her. She's expecting that and will probably accuse you of doing just that even if you are not. They are incredibly selfish (i.e. the impact on you and kids) and will expect everything to be done to their liking, believing if it's not then you are being difficult just to be so.
Look to the end game. Don't set yourself up for her trap; "if you don't do what I want I'll take the kids from you in court", etc. Don't empower her, but don't go out of your way to make things hard. They will be hard enough.
Staying in the house is absolutely your right. It may even be the right move because if you move out it will make things very easy for her (her life disruption will be minimized and she'll have a legal leg up on getting the house). Proof of their selfishness is mine threatened to take the kids and leave if I didn't. I left to protect the kids from such a disruption, which made it easy on her and she eventually got title to the house.
Exposing the other M is a separate matter. Don't confuse the financial with the emotional and marital. It's very easy to do, probably because the home, the family, the marriage and the finances were all one in our minds during the marriage. In separation/divorce they no longer are. She may try to trick you to move out by saying this is only a separation while her mind is made up on divorce. Mine did that too.
Look to the end game and determine where YOU want to be in the event of a divorce. She can still be with you there if SHE wants to be (and you still want her). Either way you will be where you want to be which is all any of us can affect.
Last edited by sleeper; 07/27/1003:22 PM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
