The household cleaning issue came to a head last night. My W kicked me out of the bedroom. After trying to sleep there, I heard my W stirring in her computer room, so I got up to face the music.
She kept trying to tell me what she wanted in a vague way--that I'm supposed to take the initiative as she would and meet her standards. In her mind, the problem is my lack of initiative and effort. In my mind, the problem is her lack of communiction in clearly telling me what her cleaning expectations are. She is to draft a list of household expectations. Her standards seem to increase when she is under stress, and the unemployment probably plays a factor, as she is there a great deal of time.
I was willing to lose some sleep, and stayed-up to clean the kitchen and bathroom for her. This seemed to ease her anxiety. I still slept in the guest room. I need to make sure that I commit to trying to meet to her cleaning expectations, as she wants to feel like she has a partner on this issue.
She's also upset with me because she asked me to schedule a fitness assessment at our center, and I did it only for her. She had asked that we do it back to back. I underestimeated, how much she wanted to partner on this. I'm feeling like I have limited time with dance lessons and now adding swim lessons. My lack of communication created this problem. I fell back into old habits on this one.
She's also upset with me because I ate her carryout leftover. I thought we operated under a 24 hour rule (after 24 hours, it's mine). I guess she had her mind set on this entree. She was angry when it wasn't available. The 24 hour rule has now been replaced with asking permission each time.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
