Another story of a WH and an LBS

[Piano]

Hey G, I've gone a bit quiet lately on your thread but I am following. I think I'm just not one to give advice on piecing it back together with WH (given where my stich is heading). I just wanna know how you are doing today? How's bub? And the colic?

[gatsby11]

Hey guys...

Pinhead, nice name. Yeah, I'm getting ahead of myself a bit. Can't help it! Will try not to.

P, still give me advice if you think of any! I don't think the outcomes of our sitches have much to do with the advice we give.

I'm doing well. Going to my 6 week checkup today and then I hope to swim as much as possible!! Little girl has been doing well, as long as I'm bouncing her on the ball and keeping the pacifier in her mouth. Uh-oh, starting bad habits probably! It's just hard to let them cry...

My friend from the Northwest is coming in to visit next week, so I don't think I'll be on here at all that week. WH will be getting back from his trip, so I'm sure somethings will be 'happening' but I'll have to do a massive update after that! She doesn't get in 'til Sunday, tho, so I've got more days.

And that's it!

[gatsby11]

I haven't dropped a pound in the past month. Still carrying extra weight. Been doing daily walks and breastfeeding. Supposed to make people slim down quickly! Grr.

[bluestar]

Don't feel bad about "habits", G. I'm not the "cry it out" kind of mom. IMO, babies need all the attention they can get.

[newmama]

Trust your instincts about your baby, you have good ones!

You know, with the pacifier, my other friends all gave their babies pacifiers and weaned them by age 2. So stbxh and I decided to use the pacifier as well but not all day...and I am not worried about it!

I initially lost 16 pounds from giving birth, then only 7 more came off over the next 5 months. For some reason, AFTER I stopped breast feeding, the weight began to drop!!

[Babydoll]

Hi G
I agree with bluestar! I give the baby a pacifier too. I thought maybe 3 weeks was too soon, been using it all along. The hospital was using them but I brought my own. He doesn't use it all the time, but my pediarician yesterday told me it was ok and that the American Academy of Pediatrics says it helps prevents SIDS and helps babies learn to self sooth!!!

Few great books my sister gave me that are really helpful:
Babys first year week by week
Baby whisperer

They talk a lot about soothing baby, colic etc. You should get them. Fun reading all the things they learn!

[gatsby11]

I've totally read Baby Whisperer! It's just really hard to actually put into practice. I even read Happiest Baby on the Block. Same thing, hard to actually do.

But I'm reading a book on sleeping now... and I actually plan on trying it when little girl is 8 weeks old! So that's in a week and a half. My main worry about habits is that I am going back to work in 4-5 weeks and I need to help us keep sleeping well.

NM, I've heard about moms who lose weight after breastfeeding is over. It could be me, I don't know! Thanks for your comment.

Op, speaking of sleeping, she's up again. Gotta go!

[gatsby11]

omg, she put herself back to sleep! it was on accident, on my part! i am sitting kinda far away from the bedroom now, so i couldn't hear some of her fussing. then i heard, typed my last sentence to you, tiptoed into the bedroom, and she was back asleep!

yay!!

anyway, i wanted to say thanks for everybody's input above, bluestar, BD, and NM. i would have put that in my other post if i would have finished it fully.

please keep the baby advice coming. i want to balance secure attachment with good routines that will help her and me when i'm back and work. tricky to do! and i know every baby is different, so no one really knows for sure.

k, now to get myself to sleep!

[gatsby11]

So little girl has been putting herself to sleep! all day yesterday.

speaking of yesterday, it was wh and my 9 year anniversary. i didn't realize the date 'til about 11 pm so i basically forgot about it. and he doesn't have cell coverage in colorado. so it worked out!

this is the latest thing about wh: people from work really don't seem to be in support of me counseling with him. i know it doesn't matter what they think, but it sucks that they were my biggest supporters through this whole thing and helped me so much and now i think they feel... confused/disappointed that i'd 'take him back' so easily. and it's not so easily, but it's just really hard to explain that to everyone. the initial story was easy-- "he left!" but this story is a lot more complicated.

and that's all.

[newmama]

My wedding anniversary was 7/28 as well! And I think Mrs. A's.

So I take it you are glad that you didn't hear from him about your wedding anniversary.


And the road to reconciliation is going to be rough-be prepared to get that reaction from others (the same as your coworkers).
But THEY don't know! It's YOUR life! And I know you know that. I don't think every marriage should be saved, but your H did sound like he had some kind of a meltdown and it was WRONG for him to leave you pregnant. But "in sickness and in health" and you look at your relationship and the way he treated you BEFORE to help decide whether you want to stay with him, right? And you love him!

OK just giving my support.

WOW- can't believe your baby girl is able to put herself to sleep already! S didn't start doing that until 7-8 months!