Our Golden is basically kept in a kennel crate for most of the day when no one is home, as well as sleeping in it at night. I think it's inhumane, and the dog acts schizo because of this treatment.
I'm actually planning on getting a kitten once the W moves out.
I've really accepted that our differences are irreconcilable. Our marriage wasn't great to start with, our sex life was non-existent after our first daughter, and we just drifted apart and neglected each other. We both care about each other, but she's definitely not in love with me, and I sometimes wonder if she ever was.
That hurts, but at least I'm out of limbo now. I'm staying in my house instead of selling it, so our Ds will have their home. The W will be getting an apartment nearby, and we're both trying to work out how to be great coparents.
I'm going to be helping out financially, just $500/month, even though I'll have joint custody. The money won't be going to give my wife an extravagant lifestyle, but to make sure my girls have what they need.
We're not using lawyers, or mediators, since we pretty much agree on splitting everything. We'll draw up our own papers, and save a ton of money.
Looking back, I made some big mistakes, as did she. We both neglected our marriage when we had our daughters, and we were both afraid of rejection. That's in the past though, and I've dropped the rope. I think someday she'll forgive me, and I'll forgive her for leaving me.
I'm looking forward to being the best dad I can be, and seeing our wonderful daughters grow up. I don't think divorce has to be as damaging to kids as everyone fears, and we're both going to be heavily involved in raising them.
Oh, and one tip to everyone using DB strategy. If it conflicts with your 180s, you need to watch it. My normal behaviour is to avoid confrontation, to withdraw and isolate myself when hurt or threatened. Unfortunately, that matches a lot of the techniques for the LRT. My wife felt like the last two weeks, where I had dropped the rope, that I was becoming cold and detached. So it's a fine line.
Maybe after a few years apart, we'll be one of those happy couples who realize they're better off together. I'd like that, but it seems like a fairy tale. I'll settle for being great coparents who can trust each other, and be kind to each other despite the past.
