My H has always been like this as far as I can tell.
These are the demons that he needs to slay. I am not sure what exactly they are..only he does.
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I read an article on NPD...trigger events such as divorce, job loss etc typically causes a narcissist to change their ways. They are kind and nice etc. This is to feed their narcissistic supply...they require that narcissistic supply so they try to get back into good standings.
Hence you detach..you work on you because really only time will tell if he has indeed done the work on himself. If indeed he has searched himself and finally faced those demons.
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The changes that they make are not real..or permanent. It is to make themselves feel good again...but the narcissism is still there- and will show up again.
You know I have to say that the above quote struck a cord in me. Maybe I need to look at it. I find it a bit defeatist IMO. It comes across as one of those statements that say “people don’t change”. I say bull. About 18 years ago I was a drug addict. I was told and my W was told “he will never change”. In a few months I cleaned up. I have never taken drugs again. Never. Maybe I am the exception to the rule. I do not know. What I do know is that anything is possible. That anyone can change their destiny and that sometime they just need a reason.
Time Lola…time…only time will tell if your H has indeed made the changes in himself. The question to YOU is….can you wait. Will you wait. Can you outlast his crisis? Can you sit back and be a light that your H can see and maybe come home too.
Lola – there is nothing wrong with saying NO I can’t wait. Nothing wrong with it.
Finally, narcissist, MLCer, WAS, WAH, sick in the F’in head – none of this should change the work that YOU need to do on YOU.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
