thanks Eric My H has always been like this as far as I can tell. His family told me of his behavior...he was the same way as a child...before his father's death. His best friend that he went to college and law school with said he was the guy that would put other people down to make himself feel good....and he always needed to have his way. He is difficult. He can be a complete SOB. We loved him even knowing this about him. I think this behavior became magnified as a result of an MLC?
I agree with you about the insecurity...and thank you for sharing what you were feeling at that time.
I know I cannot help him. All along in our R...it seemed like low times were always followed up by high times...and I would think to myself- he realizes what an a$$ he can be and he worked it out. He would always proclaim himself to be very self aware...Even currently...those several months during our separation where he was a monster...are now in the past..and he is a nice guy again. That is what I always clung to. It is easy to forget how terrible he was when he follows it up with good behavior.
I read an article on NPD...trigger events such as divorce, job loss etc typically causes a narcissist to change their ways. They are kind and nice etc. This is to feed their narcissistic supply...they require that narcissistic supply so they try to get back into good standings. The changes that they make are not real..or permanent. It is to make themselves feel good again...but the narcissism is still there- and will show up again.
