Thank you both for answering me--I too have "seen the light". Sunny, I have read your thread and it is so similar to mine that I just have started to impliment some of the advise you have gotten.
And I am now convinced that this doesn't matter--porn, or just plain emotional abuse like this--expecting to act any way you please when you have a family that you made commitments to--is wrong.
I exposed the porn to the C back in January and my H is either very careful to wipe it off his history, or for now is not using it. I expect he isn't using it, because honestly I check ALL the time and he isn't computer savy at all. Any tips on how to check past history??
I have exposed to friends of mine, and wouldn't bother to tell friends of his. I have *just* started to tell family. On his side of the family a sister-in-law I am close to knows.
Would you expose to his parents? His 70 something year old parents? I just think they couldn't handle it. He is their perfect son who never does anything wrong. They are in good health, but I haven't wanted to do this to them and now my H has spun it that I am vindictive and making up all kinds of things--I wish I had known earlier that getting intel and exposing right away is so important! There has been verbal abuse and physical abuse as well and I just don't think they would believe me at this point (I do have proof of the physical though).
So as of now I pretty much am OK with him getting a D, but he refuses to LEAVE!! I just want him out--he needs to realize the FULL consequences of his actions. I have DB'd my butt off, now I think it's time to do absolutely nothing for him and go dark (well, dark as possible with a S 14)
So where were all those creative get-them-to-leave ideas?
