Quote: Anyway, why don't you tell H that you need some time away from the kids and ask him to come up with a day and time every week that you can have some LL time. This puts the ball in his court without being controlling.
great idea nik...however...h couldn't even comit to one night a week for "us" time therefore it is doubtful that h would actually commit to making time for me to have alone time...his argument would be that I can go out any night I want...thing is I'm tired at the end of the day and my going out any night I want always seems to be on some condition of his...ie. put dd to bed first..let him spend an hour on the lawn first..let him get settled in first etc. during our seperation after I got tired of playing happy family I decided to take off as soon as he'd arive...I must say the first time I did that he freaked called my cell phone 5 times for no reason (no message left so therefore wasn't asking where are the diapers or binky or anything significant just freaking out being alone with HIS two babies)
and of course there are other replies I get from him like..what did you think it was going to be like having kids?
or then there's the promise of his slow time comming....but does it ever come? sure last winter was great..but will this one be the same? doubtful as he's no longer trying to woo his way back home.
I must say though that despite the fact that he did stay in the basement watching football from 1 on (he's still down there) he did allow the kids to be down there playing and didn't "yell" at them for being kids..and when dd was whining and wanting to hang on me and wipe snot all over me(she's got a cold and thinks I'm a giant tissue) he did try to get her to sit with him...but she wanted mamma..so I cooked with one hand while holding her in the other cause after all that is what mommas do can't begrudge him just because she wanted me.
what do I want?
some designated me time while the sun is still up. a designated "date" night with h. designated or more regular family time. to know what h's schedule is other than that he works every day..I mean his telling me he'd be home early sat left me thinking he'd be home by 1 not 4. and damn it I want my h to want me!! more often
