No, of course life with mom and dad is not better--he thought this was the answer, so what happened? Well, as we know around here, he blamed the WRONG THING for his problems!
i think things could have been worked out with a bit of effort. it didn't have to be this way. i kid you not .. mom and dad are everything to him. he vacations with them, he is at their beck and call. he talks to them multiple times a day.
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It must be human nature that people look everywhere else but at themselves to see what the real problems of their lives are.
I would feel superior, except..I did it too.lol. And so did you.lol.
sadly, i did. i'm glad that the folks here let me vent it out like that. they pushed me on the right issues and allowed me to get things out. this is way better than therapy.
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And these guys that were SO SURE are SO STUCK!!! My H saw a L yesterday. He expected me to crack (he did! OMG he was a WRECK!) I was so calm, it must have freaked him out. I made sure he knew that if this was what he wanted, fine. My life would go on. I expect all the weirdness you went through to come my way soon.
the calmer you are, the crazier your h will get. when i was calm, h did everything he could to try to make me crack. i'll be looking forward to reading your thread over in piecing.
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Your H can see you are doing better than him. Mine can see it too. Both of them have lost confidence because they were SO SURE. And they are men--how easy was it for your H to admit he was wrong?
not easy. i walked out on him one night because he got upset with me for accidently hitting the wrong button on the tivo and revealed a football score that he didn't want to know about - he was going to watch the game later. i went home after 3 hrs and he said he realized it was wrong of him and he apologized. that was the only time he ever said he was sorry.
if i know his habits, he will not say he's sorry. this d is a game to him and he wants to win. so he will do whatever it takes to make my life miserable.
when i gal-ed, he pushed for a d. when i was happy with my family, he called to say he wanted to sell the house. when i didn't want to discuss property division, he forced the issue. he made up rules, kept rambling on about how i wanted 50/50, and whatever. the more i shrugged my shoulders and said sure, whatever. the more irritated he got. the more i didn't discuss the financial agreement, the more "gold digger" comments he made. i mean .. he just wants to win. and i don't play games like this.
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But you were friends first. And he needs a friend...
from what he's shown me so far, winning is more important than our friendship.
i don't know what he thinks he's winning. i just remember him saying to me that he thinks i just want to win. and i remember looking at him and saying "huh? what am i winning?"
journaling .. been working with someone on a potential contract for the last few days. first we talked business. then our conversation turned into general chit chat. he ended up asking if it was okay for him to ask me to go out during non-business hours. we ended up exchanging more emails. then talked on the phone. he was on his way to his parents. (i know, warning signs) after we hung up, he texted me to tell me he enjoyed our phone conversation. we continued to text back and forth for the next hour. now i know why they say that you should be suspicious of an A when there is a huge number of text msgs. he ended up asking me out for saturday. he seemed genuine. still new to the dating world, i'm not sure what to expect. he didn't call it a date. it's more of a meeting so there is no pressure.
journaling. this guy wasn't as great as i expected. i didn't go out with him. just met him for coffee. i so regret the text msging. waste of money. the amount of texting and discussion topic is typical of what you would ask if you wanted to get to know someone. and the answers seemed right. but in reality, he wasn't all that he was cracked up to be. it was a huge turn off. i don't think he gets it that i'm not interested. this isn't what i want.
i have ignored follow up text msgs from him. i hope he gets the point.
"a bit of change is good but that was too much change for me. i really regret it."
Explain more.
getting out there and meeting new people who are interested in being more than friends.
it was an ego boost that yes, someone finds me interesting. but i realize that i haven't let go yet. i'm not ready.
even though i've ranted about it in the past, it's not what i really want.
meeting people just feels wrong to me. i may suspect that he is seeing someone and we haven't actually divorced yet, but i'm not gonna try and hook up with someone just because he did. it's not a competition.
