I don't have anything revolutionary, unfortunately, but I can say it's normal to go back and forth and inbetween all these emotions!
I agree that it's a fine line - with coming here and thinking on situation to GAL. I get so much needed support here yet I don't want to spend all my time "on the sitch" that I'm not GAL! And, of course, I feel that helping others on here also helps me work through my stuff.
My biggest piece of advice? Allow yourself a set amount of time to think on/grieve for W each day. You have to go through that. However, once that timer is up, you FORCE your mind into some other thought process: read a book, cook something that requires concentrating on a recipe, try a new task... whatever gets your mind on something else. My class I'm taking is awesome for this!
I posted a bunch of other things on a thread in Newcomers that work for me, but this part is essential.
I know that kids are hard too. You want so much to be a good parent and to be fully in the moment with them. Yet, it's hard to look at them and not feel sorrow for that fact that you cannot control the world crashing down on them that WS is bringing. That gets to me more than anything. BUT... my kids will know that for MY part, I did everything I could to preserve that world. I hope that through that, they learn a valuable lesson.
I truly think the Dobson book will help your mindset tremendously...
