It's time for an update from vacation.
Don't know where to start.

Tomorrow I expose to W's aunt. Not sure how I'm going to broach to subject but I'll feel my way through it.

My thoughts (because she is her side) is to ask "If I were to tell you that our family is imploding because I had an affair, would you support me?" Obviously, I'd get a no. then I tell her the real reason we are imploding. And that the A is dommed; W will get hurt; the OM is also recently separated (and also did so in order to pursue the A/take the easy way; and, if you ever meet him or hear of him, please remember where he came from and how much he cost our family.

The OM's W stays in touch and seems to be grasping things and trying to GAL and detach. OM still tries to stay "loose; friendly and engaging". She ignores it. One word late answers.

My W is all over the map still. Odd BBMesngr statuses; but since the texts 'auditioning for mother of the year' (promise me you'll look afetr my baby; let me know when you arrive; etc) I haven't heard boo.

I've been trying to concentrate on enjoying my time with family and D but my brain always comes back qround to "the sitch" and I just can't pick a consistent feel.
for it.

I go from anger; resentment; irritation; thoughts of sarcasm; to hopelessness; self-loathing and sadness that "all of the above" means I'm not getting my life back as quickly as I'd hoped or expected.

And it makes me crazy that when I see her, I still long for the chance to get "the old W" back and trying desperately to make sense of the person I am dealing with.

It drives me nuts to be on this site all the time as I should be doing "my stuff" but converseley I need to be immersed in it to try to make the mindset "natural".

Sorry everyone but I'm running out of gas. I think I need to focus more on "No More Mr Nice Guy" and deal with MY issues more than trying to understand her. She's unpredicatable and not the person I know so there is nothing in her words or actions that really mean anything to me. They just hurt.

Anyone got some 4x4's or something to shake me out of this?
Only interesting thing is that I miss being able to work out. Never thought I'd say that.

And this is a lousy time to even consider quitiing smoking, though I know I'd eventually feel good about it and look better. I just don't have the "spare" concentration available to deal with that problem simultaneously.

My eyes are closed so feel free to sneak up and annoint my melon with something revolutionary.