"i know in my head that i deserve better. that i shouldn't have put up with the way things have been for a very long time. but i love him. "
Honey, I'm not trying to beat up on you here, but can you hear yourself? "But I loooove him". WE women can be so stupid!
No - you're attached, you've got those bonding hormones going, you like the smell of his pheromones. And none of that is reason enough to put up with him. He's a loser and the rest of us have been telling you that almost from day one. You're just too close to see it.
