I do question if you are emotionally strong enough to have the conversation right now, but if YOU feel you can then by all means go for it.
Just remember, when you have the convo…no R talk NONE. As much as you may want to pry – don’t. Just keep it light.
Me too, I'm nervous about it a little. I don't think I would venture into R talk. If he does, would I even entertain it?
Originally Posted By: ericmsant2
Finally, I do have a few more questions for you…
1) Are YOU comfortable that he manages all of the finances? How long as this been going on? 2) What are you really doing for yourself these days? How do you keep your days filled? 3) Has mentioned any legal action? 4) You mention the credit card balances. You do understand that legally you are responsible for ½ the debt so you may want to find a way to figure out if he is getting himself in debt. 5) As a single women, how do you envision YOUR life?
1. He has been managing our finances ever since we've lived together, so 6 years. I've offered a few times to take that over, both before and after our separation, and he says he can handle it. I am comfortable with him handling it for now. 2. D and I have been spending a lot of time outside pool hopping. Catching up with friends via playdates. I find more time for myself in the evenings to get out once D is in bed, I easily snag a babysitter and have been catching up with friends and having people over - that has been WONDERFUL! 3. No legal talk yet. 4. I am aware of my share of the debt. He usually always gives me a brief overview each month when our bills come due, so I'll definitely pay attention next time. 5. This question excited me! I am looking forward to getting back into the office setting and working - a little more adult time! Still being a kick butt mother. Reaching out to friends and keeping up social connections, going on girl getaways. I have definitely found a spontaneous side to me recently (sky diving, random road trips, etc.) and I want to continue that!
PEI, thanks for your thoughts. You definitely made a point with visiting and bedtime is not parenting, I've gotten frustrated with that a few times. H sees it as he sees D just as much as he would if he were living here, what takes him away is work. I obviously have my thoughts on that, but haven't voiced them. I did ask for some more help once and we agreed to each give ourselves one morning 'off' on the weekends. So usually Saturdays if he is in town, he will come over bright and early so that he is here when D wakes up and then I can sleep in and be off the hook. That sporadic Saturday morning is lovely!
