And let's be frank here. Whenever something happens like this, there were problems caused by both parties. So does that mean that gman has to keep "filling her cup" to show his remorse for the things he did in the past? Of course not. You can't keep rehashing stuff from the past and have this constant battle of "well you OWE it to me". You do it because you WANT to. Not because you're OBLIGATED to.
And you're saying she's OBLIGATED to do it. If so then R isn't going to last.
Not at all, sir.
Speaking from the love perspective and respect in relationships... If I screw up, and I value this relationship - I got short sighted and caused pain, wasted money, etc... I'm going to do what I think I should do to restore the relationship and make up for my error. No grovelling at all.
We do it because we want to do it. So we are saying the same thing.
Couples counselling is a great idea at this point, the counselor will focus on bridging them past the affair.
On the "cup filling", its a mutually benefitial thing. You do it for each other, because you want to - and you trust them.
