i'm sure many of you are having a party over this. congrats. you were right.
TMW you know that is not how it is. Many of us care about you and want to see you in a healthy relationship with someone who will return all the love you have to give and treat you the way all of us should be treated.
hugs you are in my prayers.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
TMW: I am sorry for your pain. In fact - for all that he put you through for all those years. Not one of us here could ever party for him moving out. It is not that kind of thing. But we ARE here to say "good for you".
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I guarantee - you will be surprised how much better things will be after a bit of time has passed.
I know things haven't been good, something had to change - deep down, I wanted him to wake up and want to put in the effort. I didn't think he'd start packing and actually say he'd rather be single.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
TMW: He was not happy either. It had to be obvious that you had higher expectations for him. And he knew he could not be that person for you. Not to excuse anything he did but he was who he was. And he made no effort to change.
Take some time to heal. Then decide what you want/need in a new relationship. And don't settle for less as you did with him. He was never the man you had married and I'm sure you compared him to the ex.
In short time I'm sure you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. That relationship took way too much energy.
who knows what the future holds. maybe a new relationship with him, with someone else. i don't care right now. i'm in a very down dark place.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Honey - no new relationship with him!!!!!! If he was CAPABLE of turning into the guy you wanted him to be, he would have done so by now. You are missing your FANTASY of who you thought he COULD be, but you won't miss the reality of who he IS.
You deserve BETTER - a nice functional guy with a work ethic and who thinks the sun rises and sets on you. Don't settle for less. And use the free time that you used to spend worrying about him, to make yourself into the kind of person who will attract those great guys.
And get out a piece of posterboard, cut out some pictures of what you want to attract into your life, put it up in your kitchen. Time to dream BIG and happy
Ellie
(P.S. YOu know, of course, that you are not so much feeling down about HIM, but down because he was your buffer against the feelings of rejection from your H? Don't confuse the two, and work through the stuff that needs to be worked through.)
YES! Ellie got it absolutely right! You focussed on what you wanted him to be, you were not honest with yourself about what he really was! He WAS your Rebound guy and you held onto him way too tight for way too long. Don't consider for one second that he is going to become the right guy for you and that he will change. He is not capable of it. CUT YOUR LOSSES>
You are so beautiful and so young. You could have anyone you wanted - believe in yourself. Don't sell yourself short. Please grieve your loss but then bury it.
