Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it

[ImprovedRomeo]

I had one date with a co-worker

Similar situation...neighbor's daughter actually, recently divorced. She's been sending me texts to chit-chat and on the one hand I want to go hangout with her but on the other hand I don't want her to misunderstand this. Like if she's thinking something more serious then it probably won't be good- do I tell her that I just want to be friends?

Unfortunatley, I'm also not good at being friends with women- I get attached too easily. Maybe TMI- I remember my previous ex-gf when I first met her I kept telling myself she's just a friend. Then we started hanging out quite a bit and I told her if she was OK just being friends and I remember still she smiled and said 'yeah we're just friends' - then a few weeks later it happened...you know what I mean. Afterwards we were both totally quiet and she broke the silence by smiling and saying 'just friends, right?' and we both busted out laughing. I miss that girl sometimes.

I miss STBXW too, the woman she was in the begining.

[ImprovedRomeo]

I'm getting ready to send the draft response (first post begining of page 2). Do you guys see anything I should change?

[ImprovedRomeo]

In regard to the insurance I'm thinking of adding:

"If you want to stay on my plan that's fine but you'll have to reimburse me for these costs like you're asking me to reimburse you for the petty sh*t."

[ClingingToHope]

In my case, STBXW inquired about kicking me off but was told she couldn't until the actual D. In our state you can't actually get divorced until you've been separated for two years unless both sides agree.

So I have that chip going for me if I want to drag things out and stay on her plan.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Here it's 6 months mandatory wait period. Insurance wise I can't legally kick her off but I should be able to get the money reimbursed since the legal separation...I asked my L but of course they're slower than the molasses.

[alice444]

Really, you can't take her off? Why the hell not??? She needs to find her own insurance, I say- if open enrollment is in a week, you can do whatever you want, regardless of whether she likes it. Remember, that you taking her off yours is a qualifying event for her, so she should be able to then sign up in the middle of a plan year, got it? You are responsible for you and DD, period.

I like the name and the attitude- but if you start talking about "petty sh!t" that means you have emotions around her and are letting them show. would advise against that- as my usual advice- say it here- we all agree with you 100%. Then send the edited version ;-)

A

[antlers]

Many, if not all, policies require a copy of the divorce decree before a spouse can take the other spouse off of their insurance policy. My STBXW was unable to take me off of the health insurance without a divorce decree...and I was unable to remove her from being the beneficiary to my work retirement account withouit a divorce decree. It really pissed her off that she couldn't remove me from the insurance without one.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hey A, thanks for the feedback! Once the divorce is filed you can't take your spouse's name off of any insurance etc that's just how it is...now I should be able to ask for these costs reimbursed to me at the time of the division of assets and that's what I'm hoping to get an answer on from the L.

I like the name and the attitude- but if you start talking about "petty sh!t" that means you have emotions around her and are letting them show. would advise against that- as my usual advice- say it here- we all agree with you 100%. Then send the edited version ;-)

Well it's not the same old "I can't live without you" emotions right now, they're more "you're starting to get on my nerves now" emotions. So I don't know if it matters at this point, I figure I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells anymore. What would Gucci, Coach and Puppy Dog say?

[ImprovedRomeo]

DD said the other day that she can't play or watch movies on mommy's computer. I asked why is that? she said because the computer can't do Netflix. Awww made me so sad that I almost sent STBXW an email telling her I'll come over and set up the wireless stuff for them but I resisted. I don't know...I might still?

It was great spending 5 days in a row with DD while stbxw was out of town. She'll have DD today and then I get her the next two days but I think DD's had enough of me when I told her she'd be back with me tomorrow she said 'why? I want to stay with mommy'. I still need to be more laxed with her and it's hard to know what to let her get away with and what to be strict about. Lately she's been doing a lot of 'xyz has more toys than me' or 'xyz has a bigger house' or 'xyz always gets more of abc' and even 'why do I always get a smaller piece of dessert and you bigger' I told her because daddy's a fatty

Oh I got her a goldfish at the fair on Sun and it survived the first night. It's in a small 8" rectangular container. So after work we went to the pet store to get the water conditioner and food for it and I looked at the bigger fish tanks. So a $.30 goldfish cost $5 at the fair, $10 for food/conditioner and will cost $60 for the tank lol. We'll see if it survives another few days then I'll get a bigger tank.

[soleil]

It's curious about the insuarnce thing. I never knew that before. Insurance companies just want to suck everyone dry! LOL.

Gonna agree with Alice about the "petty sh-t." Just respond saying the first part about her having to reimburse you. Oh and that is pretty cool about the 'reimbursement.' I had never thought about that before. ::Takes notes.::