Eric- I will comment on your post to me but I first want to write about something awful that my family had to do yesterday...I wasn't going to share this but hell..everyone here already knows so much about me...including my menstrual cycle ; )

As I mentioned before, my father is an alcoholic. He hasn't been doing very well for the past few months. He is 73 and stopped working completely back in April...and has just spiraled out of control. He has peripheral neuropathy due to his drinking and because he isn't working- he is just drinking more and more. He has been severely depressed.

My family has been trying to figure out a way to get him to go for help. He agreed to detox back in November and did very well for a short period of time. For the past few months- he has been increasingly irritable, sad, verbally abusive to my mother, and playing the victim. He also stopped caring for himself..bathing, shaving, etc. (so very sad)

It angers me that there are so few options to get people into rehab. We had two 1) get him to sign himself in or 2) get him arrested and force detox. Unfortunately but fortunately- he threatened my mother yesterday "If I had a gun...I would shoot you". My father has never put a hand on her but we used this as an opportunity to get him some help.

It is such a long story- but we got him arrested for domestic violence. It was heartbreaking to watch my father handcuffed. I don't think he has ever gotten a parking ticket..and here we were having him taken away for a threat we know he would never follow up on. We took these actions at the advice of a crisis specialist, a counselor at an alcohol/drug treatment center, and friends that work at our local police department.

We didn't bail him out to allow him to detox for 24 hours- so he spent the night in jail- just writing this makes me cry. My brothers went and picked him up today and he agreed to go to the rehab center.

This whole experience just made me realize so much..and just reinforced things that I already sort of knew. After we 'all' made the decision to go thru with this plan- my mother almost couldn't go thru with it. For years and years...my mother enabled him..was manipulated by my father...felt sorry for him..was codependent on him. I have watched this my entire life. As an adult, I would think that her putting up with my father was ridiculous. I was doing the same exact thing.

Now I know it isn't enough to just say "this is what I grew up watching..so that is the reason I am the way I am"...but it definitely explains alot. I just need to figure out how to fix this. Probalby answering Eric's and TG's questions would be a good start. God I'm drained!!!!