So had the initial “talk” with W yesterday about her “secret” Facebook/Gmail account…her account is that she hasn’t been conversing/seeing him but wanted a way to see “what he’s doing” (by seeing his FB updates) and had made up the fake Gmail account to be able to set up the FB account (contrary to our mutual agreement that she not be FB “friends” or anything else). She said there’s no emails in the Gmail acct.
Also said “you weren’t supposed to find out about this” and basically made it sound like she wasn’t planning on disabling this account after having this conversation (as “I don’t want to be with him, but want to know what he’s up to”)…??? and “don’t have any plans now or in the future to see him” and is still trying and make “us” work (actually said she feels like she’s trying and she’s hitting a brick wall with me, of course, I’ve been feeling the exact same way).
Told her there is no way in my mind we can begin to try to reconnect as long as there’s any contact between the 2 of them (even if it were true that they have not actually been in contact other than through FB updates).
Didn’t get to fully finish the conversation as the kids came downstairs (then had a hell of a night w/ the kids, with both of them in our bed last night with various bad dreams)…
Have a session with my IC tomorrow and going to do my best to wait to discuss this any further with her until then (as I’m hoping I’ll be able to sort out my head a little bit in the next day or so)…clearly, it is unacceptable to me for her to remain in any kind of contact with OM for any of this to ever work (even if she proclaims she “doesn’t want to be with him” and that any contact is “harmless”)…
Was probably a mistake to confront based on no actual, specific knowledge, but honestly couldn’t take it any more (and do not believe she hasn’t been in contact at least via email/FB)…
