1) How often does your H see his D? 2) How are you doing on the job front? Any good prospects? 3) In terms of employment, what type of work and hours are you expecting to have? 4) Is your H capable of taking care of your DD? Has he done this in the past? 5) You indicate that you are back in the home. Is he covering all of the expenses? If so, do you at least have some sort of disposable income for yourself? 6) How far does your H live from you? 7) Does your H's job enable him to take D during the week?
1. When he is in town and doesn't have late work meetings, he is here to play with her and put her to bed. On weekends, he is usually around all day. 2. Working on getting my resume out there, have met with a head hunter. More networking planned for this week. 3. Going forward, I'm viewing myself as a single mom, so I'm looking for something with a good work/life balance and no travel. I was really up front about that point with the people I've already met with. H just travels so much that I can't rely on him. 4. Totally capable. He's a really good Dad to D. He has kept her overnight on his own. I definitely think it stresses him out a bit to spend multiple days, all day with her. My take on this: suck it up! 5. He is covering all of the expenses and each month I just tell him what my credit card bill is. He manages our mortgage, bills, checking account, insurance, etc. As far as disposable income, if I want to go out to dinner, or buy some clothes, I do. I'm very open with him about how I spend money. 6. His apt. is about 10 mins away. 7. Again, his schedule is unpredictable from week to week, so it is unreasonable to say 'every wednesday, you have D', but yes, there are some nights and weekends when he could have full responsibility.
Originally Posted By: ericmsant2
Do you know if H has accumulated debt? If so, you need to keep an eye on this.
We have always had separate credit cards. I know that before MLC, he was carrying a pretty high balance on his (like $15K), I have a feeling it may be higher now, but I'm not sure. We've talked a little about spending recently. I broke down my monthly spending to show him where everything goes, and we talked about him eating out for almost every meal...oh yeah, and that apt. rent that is practically the same as our mortgage each month. When I told him that I would be moving back home, he mentioned having to find a cheaper apt. About time if you ask me. It's a giant fancy one bedroom loft downtown, he had been renting furniture, but has since discontinued it to save $$. He also gave up his premium parking space. Like I said before, the ONLY thing in there now is an air mattress, projector and screen.
