Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Well, things seemed to actually stabilize last night.

She finally came clean about all of it. ALL of it. She said she finally felt like she wasn't being confronted and attacked and could open up about what happened. She told me everything, and allowed me to ask any questions I wanted. She was being 100% honest. She agreed not to delete her browser history anymore or delete anything from her phone. She admitted that the OM still contacts her but she has not responded to his texts or calls - basically dropped it cold turkey. She said that if it happens again she will let me know. As far as meeting up two weeks ago with a friend, she admitted that she lied to me and the reasoning behind it was that I was on edge as of late and she thought it would blow up into a big deal, which it wasn't. Nothing there - just friends, and I believe it.

I now again feel safe in my home... but this time 100%. Not 99%. Before last night I had that 1% of doubt always nagging at me, making me paranoid, making me not trust her, etc. I don't think it's there anymore.

Afterwards we talked about alot of things, and it's the best conversation we've had in months (minus the hurtful things I learned). But all in all, now that she's "clean" I think we have a foundation to work from that can be trusted - which is what everyone here was telling me we needed in order to move forward.

I asked her if she felt better after telling me all of this, and she said she felt worse. I asked why, trying to listen, and she said it was because she had to re-live all those things she did and she was ashamed of them. She said, "When I was doing it, I knew it was wrong that I wanted to talk to OM. But, I was so mad at you then that I just didn't care."

I think I feel much more safe now, and able to begin possibly rebuilding this.