I gave Aunt Inez the address of where to send the paperwork to H, leaving me out of it. She understands. Went through a similar situation herself 20 years ago with her H.
So, for the moment, there doesn't seem to be any reason for us to have any contact w/s/e unless the property sells, at least until after our anniversery in November.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
punkin, I'm sorry he's acting this way, but he's in s nit because he wants his money. In his mind, he feels that the only way to get you to move out on doing what he wants is to act like a complete and utter @ss.
I wouldn't contact him again for a very long time. Let him make the next move.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know that 5 months is nothing to a MLC'r, but the fact that he can't even be courteous to me after being dark this long really disheartens me.
I'm sure that talking to me in any form brings forth the guilt and suppressed anger. He's practically cut off all communitcation with the daughters, and therefore the grandsons.
Tomorrow is another day. I will be at work and busy and not have time to ponder his actions, which I shouldn't be worrying about anyway. Hit me with a 2 x 4.
I'm doing my best to keep in touch with my stepsons and stepgrands. Took one to the park Saturday and then to McDonald's.
The best contact for me is definitely NO contact, and that is what will have to be from here on out. He is worried that as long as I stall this, the more power I will have to obtain settlement, and he is right. Unfortunately, that is not the True reason I'm stalling.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Thanks SA, CW & Eric, Yes I have read the MLC Resources, but I'm thinking I may need a refresher course. Just didn't expect the get the case of the blahs that I ended up with this weekend.
The only think about No Contact is that I'm the only one that seems to have any reaction to it. I no longer miss him physically, but mentally. There are times, as I'm sure you all know, that something funny or interesting happens and you want to grab the phone and share it with them. And then stop and think, Oh yeah, he doesn't care and doesn't want to hear from me.
Unfortunately your H is acting like the 'typical' MLCer. NC is very wise of you for now. It gives your H time to travel through his tunnel without taking time out to think about how to deal with the problems he created when he left you.
You flying under the radar takes the pressure off him and hopefully he stops being so gung ho in getting the divorce.
Any pressure he gets will be from ow trying to push it forward and if he's like most people he will come to resent her nagging and pushing. True colors will be revealed on both their parts.
Don't give them any reasons to bond and aim the point of the triangle at you. Let RL set in for them and then they'll aim at each other. In time it's a possibility that your H sees you as the better option and then the ball will be in your court.
You're going to have those down days. I still get them where I miss my H like crazy. I just find something else to do and find it's not as intense or lasts as long anymore.
